Reading Responce #5

"I gave Ms. L. the F and slept poorly that night. Some of the failing grades I issue gnaw at me more than others. In my ears rang her plaintive words, so emblematic of the tough spot in which we both now found ourselves. Ms. L. had done everything that American culture asked of her. She had gone back to school to better herself, and she expected to be rewarded for it, not slapped down. She had failed not, as some students do, by being absent too often or by blowing off assignments. She simply was not qualified for college. What exactly, I wondered, was I grading? I thought briefly of passing Ms. L., of slipping her the old gentlewoman’s C-minus. But I couldn’t do it. It wouldn’t be fair to the other students. By passing Ms. L., I would be eroding the standards of the school for which I worked. Besides, I nurse a healthy ration of paranoia. What if she were a plant from The New York Times doing a story on the declining standards of the nation’s colleges?"

In paraphrasing this text In the Basement of the Ivory Tower by Professor X, it is important to know that he does not feel good about the grade he gave to Ms. L. This bit of text is like a bad dream. He has guilt for the grade that he gave Ms. L, not because he feels that the grade wasn't justified but because she "had done everything that American culture asked of her". He felt badly about failing a hard worker. He then thinks about passing her, but his paranoia gets in the way. He tosses over whether or not she was doing an assignment on how colleges grade the inept for the New York Times.

This connects to the rest of the essay as Professor X's turning point, not in his essay but in his own mind at the point of contact with Ms. L. The feeling of guilt caused him to rethink the grade he gave her. He states, however, that doing so, he "would be eroding the standards of the school for which [he] worked." It would, therefore, contrast any standard he had set for himself as a teacher as well as the standards his place of work enforced. This, to me, is interesting because earlier in his essay, he expalins that at the end of a course, the college sometimes was not happy with the number of failing students in his class. I find this incredibly hypocritical of the school. There is a reason that standards need to be enforced- schools must give all students a guideline so that they know what would be considered a pass or a fail. Of course there are going to be extreamly hard grading teachers but I think if the school took the time to read some of the work that was considered "failed work", they may come to a better conclusion as to how Professor X was doing his job. I am not saying that Professor X is right, I'm saying that there needs to be a substancial amount of evidence for others to question one's job.

Personally, this essay really got to me. In the small number of years that I have been out of highschool, I made every wrong turn. The first was never taking my SAT's. When I struggled in highschool, I was told that some people just aren't meant for college. I persued other things like acting and singing, where I failed at both. I failed not because I wasn't good, but I wasn't intellectually challenged- they came too easy to me. I knew I needed to do something and ended up being a Cosmetologist. I remember working at a very prestigious salon where I had to have intelligent conversations with clients to even remotely relate to them. Sometime my clients would ask me, "So, are you in school?" That question killed me. I was "not qualified for college". I didn't want to face the real world and risk the failure so I dove into a world of superficial coworkers and a cozy life. So why am I here? Even though Professor X thinks that some are "not qualified for college", (and some aren't) I need to try because I'll always wonder who I could have been. If I fail, at least I know. If I succeed, I can toss my shears and walk out of my salon with my head held high and diploma in hand. Professor X states that he knows "telling someone that college is not for him seems harsh and classist". To the contrary, I have no problem with someone telling me that I do not belong in college. I may be a little more stubborn than most, but it doesn't phase me. Universities have the power to tell me whether or not they want me in their school, but community colleges are open addmissions because of people like me. People that need to try in order to fulfill something in themselves. Let them fail. We are all adults and can take it, we don't need educator sheltering us because we may not pass. I respect Professor X as an educator but judging by the tone of his paper, he's being too hard on himself. His pessimistic and martyrly rant is boarderline irritating. The way I see it, and it may be a little cold hearted, but all of us in college are adults and need to be treated accordingly.